Jump and Jump

This week we go back to 1984 to talk about two songs, both called "Jump" and both having pretty terrible videos.  First up are The Pointer Sisters.

First of all, I don't want any of you to think I have a grudge against the Pointer Sisters.  They didn't run over my kitty when I was little.  (I still haven't forgiven you, Kenny Loggins!)  I actually have a fair amount of admiration and appreciation for the sisters, and perhaps that's why this video seems like such a letdown.  A major letdown.  I'm tempted to say they phoned it in, but I'm pretty sure Hall & Oates phoned in all their videos, but ended up with better stuff than this.

It helps to understand that at the time the U.S. was getting ready to host the 1984 Summer Olympics.  Once you know that, the footage they spliced into the video makes a lot more sense, but it's still a cheap and lazy way to do a video.  Using stock footage of anything is just about the worst thing a video can do.  I don't care if you're getting ready for the third coming of Jesus, re-using footage of the second coming is completely unacceptable.  The second worse thing to do in a video is put the band on a stage and have them lip-sync their song.  The third worst thing to do to a video is have your cousin Leon edit it.  The fourth worst thing to do is dress like you're attending a church social.  The fifth worst thing to do is to let David Lee Roth direct.  At least they avoided that last one.

Perhaps I'm being a bit harsh, but it's hard to see a video that bad after seeing such wonderful work as this:

If you want to see a genuinely good Pointer Sisters video, look up their video for I'm So Excited.  It was the very next video they released, and there's a HUGE difference.  It's flashy, fashionable, sexy, stylish, and everything you needed in order to be an 80's pop group.  But as for this video, it's a laundry list of what not do.  So here's my breakdown:

Style: 1
Execution:1
Nostalgia: 2
Olympicosity: 1

FINAL SCORE (not an average):  1.25


And now part two!  Wind the calendar back a couple months and we have another band releasing a song with the same name.  Here's Van Halen's Jump:

This video, directed by Sir David Lee Roth, makes several strides over the Pointer Sister's video.  Firstly, there's no stock footage of sporting events.  Secondly, the members of Van Halen seem capable of jumping much higher than the Pointer Sisters.  Roth in particular.  However, the boys have an advantage since they're not wearing heels.

Van Halen's Jump is a bad video because all it shows is footage of the band performing the song.  And they're not even performing for an audience.  And chances are, they're not even performing at all.  This video has no creativity, no ambition, and attempts to do nothing more than portray the band members as a bunch of goofy, fun-loving guys.  Well at least they nailed that last part.  While this video is tantamount to is a serious crime, it wouldn't be so bad if the majority of VH's videos weren't also boring performance videos.  The difference between Jump and Panama videos is virtually nil.  They're interchangeable.  Yet somehow, this video won several awards.  Go figure. 

Once again, I don't have any hate for Van Halen, heck I owned pretty much all their albums, but a band who so throughly ruled the 80's should have better videos than this.  Here's my summary:

Style: 2
Execution:2
Nostalgia: 3
Rothenticity:2

FINAL SCORE (not an average):  2.0

NEXT WEEK:  Debbie Gibson