Sledgehammer

There are a handful of 1980s artists who dedicated their time and creative powers to their videos as much as their music.  The Man With One Glove is a well-documented example.  These performers are the reason why the 1980s had great videos; they amazed us repeatedly, and raised the bar for everyone else.

This is Peter Gabriel's video for Sledgehammer, simply put, one of the greatest music videos of all time.

How the hell do you follow that? There's more imagination and creativity in this video than in ten Def Leppard videos stacked together.  (WARNING:  Do not stack Def Leppard videos higher than your shoulders.  Falling videos may cause severe injury or death!)  It's clear that Mr. Gabriel wasn't satisfied with merely making himself look good.  He also felt the need to innovate.  He felt the need to take the time, money, and effort to take his music videos to a level way above and beyond what anybody could have expected.  And with Sledgehammer, he didn't just raise the bar, he took the bar up Mt. Everest, planted it on top, and challenged the rest of the world to "Come and get it, motherfuckers!"

Well maybe he never said those words, but the video speaks for itself. 

Animation was handled by a studio that was not quite famous for its stop-motion work:  Aardman Studios.  If you look closely, the bumper cars closely resemble the Chevron car mascots Aardman would animate years later.  Among the animators was a brilliant young man named Nick Park, who happens to be responsible for these two:

I guess you could call Wallace and Gromit cousins in the Sledgehammer family tree. 

It took months for the Sledgehammer video to be completed, which is just as unacceptable today as it was back then, but it was clearly worth the wait.  Mr. Gabriel himself spent many long hours being the clay for the animators to mold, which is a testimony to his own patience and dedication to the project.  In short, the man went way out of his way to create something for us to enjoy, and the world is better because of it.

So what do you do after Sledgehammer?  Simple:  You hit the Big Time:

I'm guessing it wouldn't surprise you to know that both Sledgehammer and Big Time were directed by the same person.  Stephen R. Johnson.  He also directed the video for Peter Gabriel's Steam, which is yet another amazing video, but it's from 1992, so you'll have to check it out on your own. 

Back to Sledgehammer.  Groundbreaking.  Inspiring.  Landmark.  And the song's great too.  This is one of the greatest videos every produced.  It will be remembered for ages, and will be forever be used as an example of what a video can be when you summon enough imagination and creativity.


Style: 5
Execution: 5
Nostalgia: 5
Impact: like a 10 pound sledge.

FINAL SCORE (not an average): 6.0

NEXT WEEK:  Debbie Gibson

Jump and Jump

This week we go back to 1984 to talk about two songs, both called "Jump" and both having pretty terrible videos.  First up are The Pointer Sisters.

First of all, I don't want any of you to think I have a grudge against the Pointer Sisters.  They didn't run over my kitty when I was little.  (I still haven't forgiven you, Kenny Loggins!)  I actually have a fair amount of admiration and appreciation for the sisters, and perhaps that's why this video seems like such a letdown.  A major letdown.  I'm tempted to say they phoned it in, but I'm pretty sure Hall & Oates phoned in all their videos, but ended up with better stuff than this.

It helps to understand that at the time the U.S. was getting ready to host the 1984 Summer Olympics.  Once you know that, the footage they spliced into the video makes a lot more sense, but it's still a cheap and lazy way to do a video.  Using stock footage of anything is just about the worst thing a video can do.  I don't care if you're getting ready for the third coming of Jesus, re-using footage of the second coming is completely unacceptable.  The second worse thing to do in a video is put the band on a stage and have them lip-sync their song.  The third worst thing to do to a video is have your cousin Leon edit it.  The fourth worst thing to do is dress like you're attending a church social.  The fifth worst thing to do is to let David Lee Roth direct.  At least they avoided that last one.

Perhaps I'm being a bit harsh, but it's hard to see a video that bad after seeing such wonderful work as this:

If you want to see a genuinely good Pointer Sisters video, look up their video for I'm So Excited.  It was the very next video they released, and there's a HUGE difference.  It's flashy, fashionable, sexy, stylish, and everything you needed in order to be an 80's pop group.  But as for this video, it's a laundry list of what not do.  So here's my breakdown:

Style: 1
Execution:1
Nostalgia: 2
Olympicosity: 1

FINAL SCORE (not an average):  1.25


And now part two!  Wind the calendar back a couple months and we have another band releasing a song with the same name.  Here's Van Halen's Jump:

This video, directed by Sir David Lee Roth, makes several strides over the Pointer Sister's video.  Firstly, there's no stock footage of sporting events.  Secondly, the members of Van Halen seem capable of jumping much higher than the Pointer Sisters.  Roth in particular.  However, the boys have an advantage since they're not wearing heels.

Van Halen's Jump is a bad video because all it shows is footage of the band performing the song.  And they're not even performing for an audience.  And chances are, they're not even performing at all.  This video has no creativity, no ambition, and attempts to do nothing more than portray the band members as a bunch of goofy, fun-loving guys.  Well at least they nailed that last part.  While this video is tantamount to is a serious crime, it wouldn't be so bad if the majority of VH's videos weren't also boring performance videos.  The difference between Jump and Panama videos is virtually nil.  They're interchangeable.  Yet somehow, this video won several awards.  Go figure. 

Once again, I don't have any hate for Van Halen, heck I owned pretty much all their albums, but a band who so throughly ruled the 80's should have better videos than this.  Here's my summary:

Style: 2
Execution:2
Nostalgia: 3
Rothenticity:2

FINAL SCORE (not an average):  2.0

NEXT WEEK:  Debbie Gibson

Cold Hearted

We're swinging out to the very edge of the 1980s for this one.  In fact, his video could easily be  mistaken for a product of the 90s:  Paula Abdul's video for Cold Hearted.

So this is where the 80's ended.  This is the finished product.  Everything about this video, from the lighting, the acting, the camera work -- you name it, is perfect.  This might not be your particular choice in music, and that's fine, but you have to admit, there isn't a single frame of this thing that isn't polished to a high sheen.  Someone had a vision for a video, and also had enough money (let's face it) to make that vision a reality.  I can't say I'm a fan of Ms. Abdul, but this video deserves to be recognized for its excellence.  You go, girl.

And of course, excellence has its origins.  Paul Abdul was a choreographer first, and a singer second, and the video for Cold Hearted was her tribute to famed choreographer Bob Fosse.  And who exactly is Bob Fosse?  Well, to be blunt, he is single-handedly responsible for making what jazz and modern dance is today.  Seriously.  He took jumping and prancing, and made it sexy.  Dead fucking sexy.

Since Bob was a choreographer and a director, he was rarely in front of the camera, but in 1974 he had a small part in The Little Prince, playing the part of the (cold hearted?) snake in the grass.  Take a look:

Every time I watch that clip, I imagine The Man With One Glove is sitting in the theater next to me, his jaw wide open, desperately taking notes to use in his future career.   You know who I'm talking about.  As you can see, Bob Fosse had a significant impact on the 1980s, though most people have never heard of him.  And it's no wonder Paula Abul wanted to honor him with her 5 minute tribute.

Not convinced?  Okay.  Here's a clip from the 1953 musical Kiss Me Kate.  Now Bob only does about 60 seconds of choreography here, but this 60 seconds of dance marks a moment the whole world was changed.  Even if you know nothing about dance (like me) I bet you'll be able to spot the moment we reach maximum Fosseosity.

Amazing.  It's like somebody walked up and slapped the SEXY button.  Which raises the question:  How long was that button sitting there, and why was Bob Fosse the first one to push it?

Okay, we've had enough Fosse,  back to Abdul.  This is a rare example where the video actually exceeds the song.  Sure, it was a certifiable hit single, but it didn't have the lasting power of the 1980s greats.  And when it comes down to it, if you don't remember the song, you're not going to remember the video, even if it was pretty darn amazing.  Maybe it's just too close to the 90s.  Here's my breakdown:

Style: 4
Execution:5
Nostalgia: 2
Fossefuriosity: 5

FINAL SCORE (not an average):  2.5

NEXT WEEK:  Debbie Gibson

Africa

This week's video features a song that's played as much today on soft rock stations as it was on top 40s stations 25 years ago.  It's an earworm that everyone wants to sing along with, but nobody knows the lyrics to.  Toto's classic hit, Africa.

First of all, you've got balls when you name yourself after the little dog from The Wizard of Oz.  It's like they knew they were going to take the decade by storm, no matter what they were named, and went for the most absurd thing they could imagine.  You know.  To handicap them.  Or else it would all be too easy.  Well the handicap worked, and though the band still survives today, Toto is for the most part forgotten.

I like to imagine what went through the mind of the video director when they planned out a video.  Sometimes you can't fathom what they were thinking or what drugs they were on, but in other cases, like this one, it's all too obvious:  "Okay, the song is about Africa, but it would be WAY too expensive to actually go and film there.  Kilimanjaro?  Not gonna happen."  So instead, they set their video in the most exotic place they can afford:  A library.  As a bonus, the nice sexy librarian lets them use the globe in the video, and shows the band how to look up books about Africa.  Almost as good as being there!  Reading is Great!

 Well maybe that's not exactly what happened, but I bet I'm pretty close.  I'm guessing they spent more on editing than set dressing, and that was a wise decision.  For how simple this video is, it looks really really good.  You can hardly see the shoestring budget that's holding the whole thing together.  Most of all, I would like to congratulate the director for not choosing the easy way out and simply cobbling together a bunch of cheap footage of Africa.  A lesser fellow would have filled the video with stock footage of lions, zebras, and shit.  Our good friend here kept the focus on the band and the song, and should be commended for that.

Speaking of directorial masterpieces, Toto has claimed a special place in my heart not because of their pop hits, but because they composed and performed the soundtrack for one of the greatest films if the 1980s:  David Lynch's Alan Smithee's DUNE.  Yes, they scored the entire film.  And they did an excellent job, too.  I tried to find a clip online that demonstrated their skill, but I came up short.  So instead, this week's bonus video is the trailer for Dune.

Love it or hate it, that movie was certainly something, uh, special.  Plus, it had Sting:

So yeah, there's always that.

Now back to this week's featured video.  Great song, no questions about that.  Had plenty of focus on the band without becoming a worthless performance video.  Established a theme and stuck with it until the end.  In fact, they even managed to squeeze in a bit of story, mystery, and even romance, if you'll call it that.  So good show in all.  Here's my breakdown:

Style: 3
Execution:4
Nostalgia: 4
Afrocentricity:  2

FINAL SCORE (not an average):  3.5

NEXT WEEK:  Debbie Gibson